Vicious Life-Sucking Bitch!

Sometimes, it is hard to be a Marlins fan.


I’m taking a little vacation from my usual trek through Marlins history this week to focus on what I feel is the state of the Marlins today (sigh), and point fingers at where things went wrong.

The first omen of tragedy would have to be the trading of Dan Uggla during the off season.  I wasn’t privy to the details, and we may never know the whole story, but from what I gathered all of the rumors and speculation that swirled around point to an unacceptable amount of douchebaggery during negotiations with the Marlins from Uggla’s camp.  I have lost a considerable amount of respect for Uggla due to his dealings in that whole matter.  I do like Omar Infante a lot, especially from a defensive standpoint, but anytime you trade a 30+ HR hitter, no matter what planet you’re from, it is going to sting.  Of course at the beginning of the season Uggla’s struggles at the plate made the trade look like gold for the Marlins.  But he has since righted himself and recently hit HR #30.

TRAITOR!

Another omen of tragedy would have to be the now famous Cousins/Posey Collision incident during a three game series with the San Francisco Giants in San Fransisco.  This one incident was a bad omen for both teams as it sent Giants catcher Buster Posey to the DL out for the season and it generated bad mojo for the Marlins and Scott Cousins in particular (death threats on his family, REALLY?). The subsequent words exchanged between both Marlins players and Giants players and fans in the aftermath of this was epic. I nearly came through my computer several times to slap some of the Giants faithful yet totally irrational fans (don’t hate the player folks, hate the game).  This one incident caused such a sh*t storm on the Internet and in main stream sports media that they are calling for a rule change (good luck with that!).

Other omens of tragedy would have to be related to injuries to key players.  Marlins ace Josh Johnson is out for the season on what at first looked to be just a minor contusion (bruise) – that’s one hell of a bruise.  Star shortstop Hanley Ramirez has been on the DL more times than I can count this season and when he is in the lineup he has not been up to par with the greatness we have come to expect.

One bright spot on this season: Logan Morrison Attacked by Mantis and I feel I have to throw this in here in hopes of keeping that unopened bottle of Vodka still left in the cabinet from being broken open in a mad rage.

This season started out so well for the Marlins.  April and May made us look so bright that not even the Florida sun could outshine us.  I had eight Marlins on my fantasy team, and I was dominating in nearly every measurable category.  Then that evil bitch June came along, with her minion, Buster Posey, and together they squashed our hopes and dreams.  June made us question ourselves, she made us second guess everything we did, and she made us look like idiots on our own home field.  I’m totally stealing a line from comedian Lewis Black here, but watching the Marlins play since June has made me want to stick a spoon up my own ass, because if I’m going to hurt THIS bad, I’m going to do it to myself.


Tags: Buster Posey Dan Uggla Hanley Ramirez Josh Johnson Miami Marlins San Francisco Giants Scott Cousins

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