‘Survivor’ Running Diary Episode 1

Sep 27, 2013; Miami, FL, USA; Miami Marlins president David Samson walks off the field during batting practice before a game against the Detroit Tigers at Marlins Park. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

I have been excited about David Samson playing Survivor for quite a few months now. In honor of Samson’s appearance, I have decided to brush off the old running diary and take this bird for a spin. One thing is for sure. Samson will provide me with no shortage of material. He can’t help but routinely say things that are embarrassing. I have high expectations for David this Survivor season, and he will deliver! After all, it’s not like he could get voted out first or anything right? Let’s get this thing started.

8:05 – Samson is revealed as a player on the ‘Brains’ tribe.

8:06 – His group picks him as the “leader” of their group, his ridiculous grin shows that he is pleased with himself. When Jeff Probst asks teammate “Kass” why she chose him, she responds “I usually don’t trust a man in a suit, but I trust David”

8:09 – David is told he must eliminate someone from his group. Before he says who, Samson feels the need to fire back at the woman who made the comment. “For the record, the blazer doesn’t match the pants, so it’s not a suit!” He is going to get beat up before this game is over.

8:10 – Samson eliminates Garrett from the ‘Brains’ tribe, sending him to a separate location. Garrett vows revenge, much like all of south Florida. David justifies sending a muscular player away by “playing for the final two-thirds of the games”. These are the players who always get voted out first.

I have to admit, Marlins’ beat writer Juan Rodriguez has had some great tweets, and I am going to start including a choice few of his into this, just so you have a second opinion on David Samson’s performance.

8:13 – In the most obvious turn of events possible, Garrett finds a hidden immunity idol and acknowledges that Samson has actually helped him.

8:22 – I am predicting that before this season of Survivor is over, Samson will hire Cliff Robinson to a 1 yr contract for the league minimum “because he obviously knows his sports”.

8:27 – Spencer, David’s teammate, already thinks he is an idiot. That didn’t take long.

8:29 – Samson – “In my experience’s I have seen people who look they can get it done, but you put a bat in their hands, and they look like Bugs Bunny.” Suddenly some of our horrible draft picks over the last decade make so much more sense. Also Samson’s 2nd baseball reference.

8:35 – We are about to see just how athletic Samson really is.

8:39 – Brain’s are in trouble, this is embarrassing.

8:40 – Samson is dropping F-bombs, this isn’t going well.

8:41 – Probst “Their brains have obviously evaporated. One of the worst performances out of the gate in the history of survivor” That may make it to Samson’s bio. 8:42 – “Brain” tribe, not even close to finishing, Samson will have to go to tribal council, Samson is one of two possible people who I see being voted out. His only saving grace may be the nuclear engineer that has annoyed everyone during the shelter building. 8:48 – Samson is making alliances with the yellow shirt lady. 8:49 – Samson wants Garrett out, even his ally thinks that is ridiculous.

8:51 – Garrett calls David a schemer….nah.

After arriving at tribal council, things take a turn for the worst.

8:55 – David calls the nuclear engineer, a “bomb builder”. Starting to question his placement on this tribe.

8:57 – Samson just had his name thrown out as someone the tribe wants to go home.

8:58 – David just offered a job to the person he is voting out. Early reports are that she is declining after asking for, and not receiving a reasonable salary.

9:04 – And David is the first person voted out of Survivor this season. I wish I could say I was shocked.

9:05 – In his closing comments, David finally utters what everyone has been thinking all along “I consider myself the luckiest person in the world” So do we David, so do we.

I had every intention of providing Marlin fans with a running diary of the entire episode, but I also didn’t really believe that Samson would be the first one voted out. I am a little stunned that Samson, who really believed that he would win the million dollars, would have such a horrible game plan. Everyone that watches the show knows that you never want to be the leader in the beginning. You have to blend in and not appear to be a threat. Unfortunately for Samson, he never was a true threat for the million, and with that, we bid David adieu.