Ozzie Loves Fidel, Likes to “Get Drunk and Go to Sleep” on Road Trips, Enjoys Yelling FIRE! in Crowded Theaters

Marlins manager and media darling Ozzie Guillen is the gift that keeps on giving.  According to the Palm Beach Post, Guillen’s typical routine on road trips includes, “Getting Drunk and Going to Sleep.”  Not one to mess with tradition, Guillen has been practicing this rite of passage for some 25, to 28 years.  Apparently, he doesn’t like to go out because drinking yourself into a stupor alone is much less dangerous than getting into a bar fight.

What do you do to an elephant with three balls?

You walk him and pitch to the Rhino.

Guillen recently told Time Magazine in regard to Fidel that he in fact, “loves Castro and respects him for staying in power so long.” That is like saying that you admire the tumor growing on your face simply because it has thrived for so long by feeding on your own bloodstream.  Cue, “Crazy Train.”

I would almost give Guillen the benefit of the doubt given that he is sometimes difficult to understand.  One could easily assume that his comments were lost in translation.  Unfortunately, Guillen has pulled this stunt before while with the White Sox.  In 2005, Guillen, who is a native of Venezuela, said that he was very fond of Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela with ties to Castro. In 2006 he was ordered by Major League Baseball to attend sensitivity training after using a homophobic slur to refer to a Chicago columnist.  I find Ozzie using a homophobic slur on anyone considering his well documented love for dudes extremely ironic, but hey whatever blows your hair back there Ozzie.  Oh yeah, and THIS:

Guillen has now apologized for pledging his undying love for a fascist dictator that everyone wishes would just die already.  According to the text I just received from the Sun Sentinel, Ozzie is flying back to Miami to apologize for his Fidel Castro comments in person.

Lady’s and gentlemen, IT HAS BEGUN!

I can not wait to see this on The Franchise: A Season with the Miami Marlins.

Till next week kids, who knows what day I’ll post?  It’s a mystery, to keep you guessing.

Go Marlins!!!!