Marlins @ Braves Series Preview: 10 Ridiculous Trade Ideas between Teams


The MLB trade deadline is just 10 days away. This is the busiest period for General Managers attempting to put together trades to keep their teams afloat for a chance at contention.

For that reason, I got together with Jeff Schafer, the editor of Tomahawk Take, to put together 10 17 ridiculous trade ideas between the two franchises that should provide laughs for our viewers. This is a change-up from our regular series preview chats, but could be just as entertaining, if not more. None of these trades have a realistic shot of happening, but some of them you guys will wish could happen.

We decided to do 10, but were having too much fun and ended up with 17. Here is a look at our ridiculous trade ideas:

  • B.J. Upton for Billy the Marlin and a sack of Cuban sandwiches
  • Craig Kimbrel for Haulover Beach. Frank Wren still mulling this one over….
  • Two free meals at Waffle House for that asinine homer thing in Marlins Park center field
  • Allyou can eat at the Clevelander for Gerald Laird‘s taco recipe
  • Fredi Gonzalez for 12 cans of white spray paint
  • The Turner Girls for the Miami Marlins Cheerleaders…you may have to throw in Jose Fernandez
  • Jordan Schafer‘s speed for Giancarlo’s Stanton’s power
  • The retractable roof from the Marlins Park for the Turner Field Budweiser Pavilion
  • Christian Bethancourt, B.J. Upton, Julio Teheran and Alex Wood for Giancarlo Stanton
  • Marlins sign Uggla and trade him to the Braves for both Upton’s and a date with Kate.
  • Loria and cash (he never leaves home without it) for a Chipper Jones statue
  • 1997 World Series ring for 1997 division title.
  • Tom Glavine‘s right elbow for Jose Fernandez’s left elbow.
  • Matt Ryan for Jake Long (oh shit, wrong sport)
  • Waffle House for a Cuban sandwich lunch, with David Samson.
  • The rights to Chipper Jones’ Twitter account for Jack McKeon.

And finally, the winner of all the trades ever actually ever made:

That’s all the ridiculous trade ideas we had. Have some more? Comment and let us know some more crazy trades that could happen between these two franchise’s.