New Years Resolutions for Miami Marlins

Nov 19, 2014; Miami, FL, USA; Miami Marlins right fielder Giancarlo Stanton listens to a question from reports during a press conference at Marlins Park. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

Giancarlo Stanton: Use your bat, not face

Marlins right fielder and MVP Giancarlo Stanton was having a strong season until September 11th. That’s when he decided to give Marlins fans a scare and decided to use his face as a bat instead of the actual bat. While the baseball reportedly had more concussion like symptoms than Giancarlo did, the ball did not travel as far as some of the balls he hit with the actual bat. Also, he managed to hurt himself somehow and missed the rest of the season.

For that reason, in 2015, Giancarlo just needs to use his face to look good and not as a replacement for his bat. With $325 million now slated to be in Giancarlo’s bank, maybe he can afford a better bat if he doesn’t feel the old one is living up to it’s potential.

Next: Yelich with a Beard?

Sep 24, 2014; Miami, FL, USA; Miami Marlins left fielder Christian Yelich (21) collides into Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard (6) during the first inning at Marlins Ballpark. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

Christian Yelich: Grow a beard

Christian Yelich is 23-years old, entering his second full-season in the majors, and is coming off an impressive 4.3 fWAR season in 2014. What more could he want?

How about maybe being able to get into a bar and buy some alcohol?

For this Yelich needs to find a remedy for his baby face. What better than a beard for Yelich’s troubles? A beard could definetly get Yelich more respect when he enters a bar without everyone wondering if he’s actually even old enough to be there.

I recommend this for what his beard should look like:

Feb 23, 2014; Maryvale, AZ, USA; Milwaukee Brewers Outfielder

has his portrait taken during photo day at Maryvale Baseball Park in Maryvale Arizona. Mandatory Credit: Lance Iversen-USA TODAY Sports

Next: Latos=Birdman?

Sep 7, 2014; Cincinnati, OH, USA; Cincinnati Reds starting pitcher Mat Latos (55) throws against the New York Mets in the fifth inning at Great American Ball Park. Mandatory Credit: David Kohl-USA TODAY Sports

Mat Latos: Become Marlins version of Birdman (Chris Anderson)

Mat Latos, coming over from Cincinnati to his hometown, is an avid Miami Heat fan. More than that, he’s a Birdman fan.

“Are you kidding me?,” Latos responded when asked if he was a Heat fan. “I almost wore my Birdman jersey today. I seriously thought about it. I was a Heat fan obviously, but I respect the game, especially at that level.” “I just enjoy watching him play” Latos said of Andersen. “He’s got high energy like me. He just seems like he is the kind of guy who has a lot of energy. It would be interesting. I would love to just be able to shake his hand. I’ve got my Birdman jersey if anyone wants to make it happen.”

Nothing would be more exciting in the Marlins clubhouse than to have the jokester in Jose Fernandez joined by the Marlins very own Birdman.

Latos would provide veteran leadership as well as a top of the rotation arm for the Fish, but could also use his experiences to help the club have a fun clubhouse, much like Anderson.

And if Latos refers to himself in the third person, like Birdman does, it would be even better.

Next: Nude Batting Practice?

Aug 31, 2014; Atlanta, GA, USA; Miami Marlins manager Mike Redmond (11) walks to an umpire to argue a call in the ninth inning of their game against the Atlanta Braves at Turner Field. The Braves won 1-0. Mandatory Credit: Jason Getz-USA TODAY Sports

Special Bonus:

Mike Redmond: Nude Batting Practice with Giancarlo Stanton 

We know Red is notorious for his naked batting practices as a player when he and his teammates were slumping. Hopefully if Giancarlo and the team go into a slump sometime next year, Red pulls out the ole’ slump buster. If any team is equipped for such a batting practice, it has to be the Marlins. I mean, look at this guy.

I can guarantee owner Jeffery Loria a packed house if a rumor that Giancarlo would be doing his batting practice in the nude would be to hit the internet.

Hopefully Redmond resolutes to do some of this next season. If a nude Stanton cannot get the Marlins motivated, I don’t know what can.

Those are my New Years Resolutions for the Miami Marlins in 2015. Drop a comment and leave us some we may have missed.

Next: No Interest in Dan Haren?