True answers you won't hear From Miami Marlins owner Bruce Sherman this month

Why should Miami Marlins fans commit to spending a single dollar on the team in 2025 when you clearly have so little interest in contending this season?

How about because I'll turn the Miami Marlins into the Montreal Marlins faster than I flipped Giancarlo Stanton to the Yankees if you don't? If you think...(covers microphone and pauses as Peter Bendix frantically whispers into his ear).

Just kidding! Apparently the lease says I can't move the team. Although, hang on. Pete, didn't it almost work for that owner in Cleveland, Rachel Phelps? Tearing down the team and being so bad...(covers microphone amid more frantic whispers from Bendix).

Oh, right. That was a movie, yep. John Fisher, though? Oh yeah, technically hasn't worked yet. Okay, okay, I'll be nice (uncovers mic).

Folks, listen. I could tell you that it's a beautiful ballpark, or that there'll be plenty of promotions to make it worth your while. In a minute, Jeff and Sandy are going to come out flashing some sweet new Marlins jerseys. You and I both know you're going to buy them. But let's get down to brass tacks.

This fantasy world you all live in where I'm going to be the one that blinks first, when it comes to rising attendance versus rising payroll? It isn't happening. Try to remember that I'm the multi-millionaire in the room. Money talks, and you people need to start talking if you want to see anything resembling an exciting offseason take place. I might be from Queens, but in the words of Brooklynite Steve Rogers, I can do this all day.

Besides, you all clearly like baseball. The NL East is a who's who of stars. Basically, every beloved player that isn't a Dodger or an Aaron Judge plays in this division. Come out and see some cool players, and grab some loosely Miami themed food while you do it. Next question.