Miami Marlins 2015 promotional giveaways have something for everyone

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Aug 11, 2014; Miami, FL, USA; Miami Marlins right fielder Giancarlo Stanton (27) connects for a two run home run during the first inning against the St. Louis Cardinals at Marlins Ballpark. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

May 17 vs. Braves — Giancarlo Stanton Growth Chart (First 5,000 kids)

This one is terrific. I am jealous of every one of the 5,000 kids that get to take one of these home. I’m a grown man and I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to hang a life-sized Giancarlo Stanton-holding-a-baseball-bat on my bedroom wall. Maybe this is why I haven’t had a date in six months.

Whatever, this is still awesome.